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Grimm's Dumbest: The Girl Without Hands.


One way this story could be good for children is to separate the smart ones who ask questions about the contrivances & plotholes from the stupid ones that take it at face value.

Even most religious folks today will criticize how the devil is responsible for all problems & how the angel is a deus ex machina, both existing for the sole purpose of relieving humanity of any kind of responsibility.

Like Rumpelstiltskin the story is initially about a miller's daughter, a king, wealth, & a demon. Like Snow White it's about a royal girl who leaves home to avoid being killed for body parts & finds herself lost in the woods. Like Cinderella it ends with a royal man looking for a girl he barely knows & can only identify her via expensive keepsake.
A Miller the authors couldn't be assed to name had fallen into poverty. Since his only remaining property was an old mill with an apple tree that the tax collectors didn't see fit to repossess, we can assume that he never put any maintenance into the mill & it fell to shit.

He went into the forest to gather wood, possibly to sell, when he encounters an old man he doesn't recognize as being local. The stranger asks why he's cutting wood & promises him wealth in exchange for whatever happens to be behind his mill right now which he will collect in 3 years. Thinking "it's just an apple tree," the miller gives him a "sounds legit" & makes a deal. It's not made clear whether he was just humoring the man or if he's just that stupid.

When he gets home, his wife, to whom he is apparently not on a first name basis with, asks where all the swag in the house came from. After telling her about his encounter, the wife immediately assumes he's made a deal with the devil & that their daughter happened to be behind the mill at the time. The story points out that the girl was 3 years old & sweeping the yard. Who the hell makes a toddler do chores?

When the girl is 6, the devil comes to take the child away, but he seems to have some sort of phobia of chalk circles & wet hands. The devil leaves & tells her father that he expects her to be dirty hands tomorrow.

the next day he comes back & sees that her hands are clean because she's been crying on them. He's like "Fuck that shit" & tells her dad to just chop her goddamn hands off, & if he doesn't he'll go in her place. Deciding that his own life is more important, he asks his daughter to comply. the unusually selfless child reminds her father that she is eccentrically property & tells him to go for it.

The devil couldn't be assed to just retrieve her then & there, because it would be a real short story if he did, so he comes back the next day, & to his annoyance, her tears have cleansed her stumps. At this point the devil has completely lost interest, possibly satisfied enough at ruining her life & just leaves.

The miller promises to use the money he got from her misery to keep her comfortably at home instead of marrying her off. She refuses his offer & leaves, most likely because he'd proven himself to be a terrible father & an irresponsible asshat.

She wanders off until she stumbles into a food garden reserved for the royal family, but the garden is surrounded by an irrigation channel. Being only a small child that is short & has probably never swam before, so she prays & an angel comes because it had absolutely nothing better to do. It dries up the moat & just follows her around silently while she eats a pear dangling from a tree. The gardener wants to scare her off, but the angel gives him the stink-eye.

The girl falls asleep in a bush before the king comes down. Hawkeye that he is, he somehow notices that a single pear is missing & bugs the gardener over it. The gardener tells him that it was a ghost & an angel. The king gives him a "seems legit" & sits outside all night to see for himself. A priest he made sit out with him runs over to the girl when she appears & demands to know if she's human or ghost. the girl tells him just a simple person life shat all over.

The king looks at the stump-handed 6 year old homeless peasant & decides "yup, that's my new wife. She's totally queen material."

At the age of 7, the girl finds herself pregnant & her husband is skipping town & leaving her in the care of his mother. He & his mother keep in contact via messenger. Every time this guy takes a nap to regain stamina, the devil replaces the message. Honestly, couldn't they have just said that the messenger was an asshole who rewrote the letters of his own will? The devil's letters told the king that his son was deformed & told the queen to have the girl & the baby executed & that her tongue & eyes were to be saved as proof of the deed.

The queen mother had a Doe slaughtered, because apparently human & deer tongues & eyes are easily mistakable for eachother. Then she tells the girl to skip town & take the baby with her. Lost in the woods, Angel Ex Machina pops up & leads her to a house where it apparently lives & she stays there until she's 14. By some miracle her hands freaking grow back.

At this point the story backtracks to tell the king's perspective of these 7 years, but is so poorly worded as to initially confuse the reader to believe he came home 7 years after she ran away & spent another 7 years looking for her, even though she only spent 7 of that possible 14 years in the house.

So the king is home & wants to see his son & wife & he & his mother clear up the misunderstanding about the notes & body parts. Irresponsible man or possibly teenager that he is, he leaves the kingdom to his mother & spends those 7 years personally looking for his wife & child without an entourage of bodyguards rather than sending men to do it while he runs the kingdom, because finding a girl he barely know is clearly far more important than his responsibility to his entire kingdom.

He manages to find the hut & the angel recognizes him as the king & tells the teen girl she can go home. This is some troll shit here; like the MGM version of Glenda not telling Dorothy about what the shoes do right off the bat. Initially he doesn't believe it's her, since she's 7 years older & has hands. As proof, the angel shows him a pair of silver hands the story never bothered to mention before. Even though they never divorced, the story ends with them remarrying.
I love the anime because it stops before the place where the manga starts to go downhill for me.

Why people THINK I hate Tamaki/Haruhi: (They're true, but they're NOT my biggest annoyance).
*As a yaoi fangirl, I naturally have a "het is ew" approach to almost all het pairings, & I can't put aside "what if Haruhi WAS a boy?" The thing is I actually make an acceptation for cold or bitchy or creepy girls paired with oblivious morons, which is exactly what kind of pairing they are. For example Kagome/Inuyasha, Lina/Gorry, Jiyu/Koinosuke, Mink/Dick Saucer, Sawada/Yankumi; so long as the woman is dominant & the man is obedient or at least utterly intimidated by her.

*Much like Fruits Basket & Gundam Wing, the series plays Gay Shiptease, only to have everyone married off at the end, even going worse as to have most of the cast end up with women who have very little character development so we don't actually give two fucks about them. That kind of FU is enough to sour any BL fangirl's response to all canon pairings.

Why I should SUPPORT Tamaki/Haruhi:
I don't like it when people or death or life changing situations come between tight brothers or bros or bromance or sisters, or BFFs. I abide by a strict "bros before hoes" policy. I'm even intolerant to people's OC pairings with Sam & Max. Don't they know that a 3ed person would ruin their relationship? Bros are already like sexless married couples & a woman on the side will do whatever she can to destroy that bond. So if Haruhi turns down Kaoru, he can go back to the way things were, & for the most part, that's exactly what happened.

What I actually hate MOST about Tamaki/Haruhi & why I CAN'T support it:
It's so fucking predictable right off the bat who she's going to end up with, combining the "First Guy Wins" trope with the age old stereotype (that's far too common to even be listed as a trope) that women marry men who remind them of their fathers. & the manga loves to constantly remind us that outside of crossdressing, Tamaki reminds Haruhi very much of her father. The way Bisco Hatori worked around that was to have her dad be the single biggest source of embarrassment in her life. Who the hell wants two of that around? But in the end, she predictably follows that well-beaten path.


Yugioh Abridged: The characters.

Since neither Wikipedia nor the Yugioh Wiki bother telling you the difference between the Abridged characters personalities from the show.

Yugi: A greedy little smartass who makes fun of his friends & family every bit as hard as he makes fun of his enemies. He has a knack for noticing inconsistencies & always points them out, as well as reminding people about past failures. One of the few straight characters, though he constantly ignores Tea's & Mai's advances & makes fun of their skankiness. His true love seems to be the game, even though he makes meta jokes about how everything annoyingly revolves around card games.

Yami: Like Yugi, he likes to point out inconsistencies, past failures, & make fun of people, but he doesn't make fun of his friends as harshly or as often as Yugi, preferring to dish it out on rivals. Unlike Yugi, he's gay & openly so, even though he never flirts with anyone.

Tea: A very hormonal boychaser & a total creeper. She spends most of her time lusting after Yami & Yugi without preference, but she also has a thing for Merik & Duke Devlin. She likes to give long boring speeches about friendship. She wants to be a table dancer at a strip joint. She likes to make fun of Bakura, Tristan, & especially Mai.

Joey: He thinks of himself as a good brother, but he's a terrible brother with a very selective & forgetful memory. One minute he'll have good intentions to do something noble & the next minute...fuck it. He makes fun of Bakura & sometimes Tristan, but never makes fun of Yugi, even though Yugi constantly tricks him out of cards & points out that he's not a good gamer. He has a bad habit of being the ram who looked before he leaped. He's bisexual, having a thing for Mai Valentine's breast (& only her breasts), a hinted secret relationship with Honda, & a regular naughty dreams about Kaiba.

Serenity: All she wants is her vision back & to bond with her neglectful brother who makes fun of her voice. She finds herself in an awkward love triangle with Tristan & Duke Devlin, akward because Tristan with occasionally flirt with Devlin & because Devlin doesn't believe in committing to a single love interest.

Tristan: Group idiot. He enjoys making fun of Bakura. It's never pointed out, but he's the only one in the group who's never played a card game. He's sexually confused; lusting after serenity but has sexual tension with her brother Joey & Duke Devlin, whom is his rival for Serenity.

Mai: Token cheesecake character & pedophile, hitting on boys 10 years younger than herself. No one sees her, they only see her breasts, but she's quite proud of them & insists they're real, though no one believes her. She's a terrible duelist & gives up easily.

Bakura: Though a thinly veiled villain, no one seems to notice; all anyone notices about him is that he's very British. He tags along & no one wants him around & they constantly insult him when he's out of earshot. Everyone thinks he's flaming gay, though he insists he's not & flirts with Tea.

Florence: Usually he just stands there looking evil, observing things & making threats. He dumped a demon named Zork to date Merik, even though they have a thoroughly unromantic relationship; constantly bitching at, disagreeing with, & making fun of eachother.

Grampa: Forgetful old man with a less than friendly relationship with his grandson. Often times he serves as the hideous damsel in distress. Yugi saves him, even though he's patiently waiting for him to die. He loves a poster of a Black Luster Soldier card.


One Last.....

You couldn't last, & I can only imagine the regrets in your head before you passed.
Aside from the pros & cons of you being gone, you could only wish for "one last."

One last birthday; your's & everyone's.
One last Christmas; giving, receiving, opening, driving around to look at the lights.
One last Thanksgiving dinner, perhaps with friends or family from out of town.
One last fall & winter.
One last call from those you knew long ago who outlived you.
One last look through the old photo albums.
One last set of vacation photos.
One last cup of tea.
One last homemade hamburger, fries, brownie, & apple crisp.
One last of your favorite brands of pickle, peach, & sourdough.
One last pizza & a decent Chinese take-out.
One last family dinner out.
One last peanutbutter sandwich, salami & cheese on club crackers, & peaches & cottage cheese.
One last cup of tea hot & cold, coffee, coke, & gingerale.
One last recent picture of you taken that isn't on an ID card.
One last family photo.
One last nap with a cat on your lap.
One last watch of all your favorite songs & TV series.
One last listen to all your favorite songs.
One last read through all your favorite books.
One last play through of your favorite games.
One last HOG with a family member playing by your side.
One last look at the beautiful wilderness, perhaps with a lake.
One last trip outdoors wearing the stuff you just bought that you never received.
One last opera.
One last laugh at a cute cat video on Youtube.
One last chat in the Sandlot Games forums.
One last new videogame.
One last power-out that forces us all to camp out in the living room together at night.
One last look through all your old stuff, to wonder why you kept what you did & why.
One last chance to have a one-on-one with everyone & get everything off your chest.
One last reconnaissance of husbands, friends, relatives, & pets you've outlived.
One last chance to have a peaceful sleep with good dreams.


A Eulogy for my grandmother.

Let's get the other departed out of the way first; Grampa, a bird, some fish, a few cats, & then grama.

The first loss to the family was Richard Byrd, aka Grampa. I was 7 & barely knew him. According to my mom, outside of us being tightwad pennypinchers, we had nothing in common & probably wouldn't have gotten along. He was my grama's second husband & while I don't remember what he died of, I remember that the last year of hs life, he lost his voice entirely & only mumbled. I remember that he was bald & wore glasses & loved things I don't approve of, like fishing & hunting. My only real memory of him was the time we went boating at Lasson; which is also my last memory of when we had a boat. I can't believe a poor family like ours could ever afford a boat & an RV.

I had a few loss in highschool; I found an adolescent bird in my mother's room; no blood & not sure how the hell it got in. I named her Sandy. She could only fly short distances & would fly to my finger if I held it out, so she apparently did not consider me a threat. I tried setting her free, but she wouldn't fly away. I tried feeding her birdseed, but she wouldn't eat. After 2 days I found her dead in her nest, poor thing. also had several fish; 3 goldfish where one decided that it's friends looked tastier than the fish food, another that committed kamikaze suicide by jumping out of it's bowl, & some beta fish. The Betas I remember the most are Jadzea & Elliot, who lived to be 2 & 3 in that order. After them, I decided "no more fish."

This is the 3ed house we've lived in in Washington (state) & there was always 2 things we could count on in each house; a flood & the loss of a family member. In the first house ("Chuck's House" aka "The Flea House") we lost our eldest cat Cali to lung cancer...I THINK she was 18. Her brother Gizmo ran away from home when I was about 6 or 7. We saw him alive a year latter, so someone took him in. I treated Cali poorly (like Elmira Duff)in her younger years, but we were close & cudly when she was older; I was pretty repentant about my lack of awareness of others.

In the 2ed house (the entire downstairs floor was my bedroom/office), we lost Mischief either to the nuisance hawk (that crashed into our window chasing Mila) or a family who let him into their house & never let him back out. (We can only hope it was the latter, male cats just have a tenancy to leave home). He was inbred, terribly afraid of everything, could jump 10ft in the air, was very good at hunting dragonflies, & we only had him for 2 or 3 years.

3ed house, we lost Mila, age 7, to a violwent asthma attack. I adopted her as a wild kitten, sitting outside my bedroom window in the snow at the first house. Apparently she ran away from her previous home when her owner thought flea powder for the floor was an okay thing to put on live cats (when she was 5, her previous owner's wife recognized her & told us). She loved humans & hated other cats.

2012 was not a good year for Ma; she's contracted one form of illness or another every other month, had a malignant spot on her head removed, 3 members of the family break a tooth all in a single week, then Grama passes away a week after Mother's Day. Patricia F Byrd was a spiritual woman who believed in "something" but like the rest of the family, she frowned upon the established religions & their gods. Her favorite composer was Modest Mussorgsky. Her loss had a big impact on the family because she lived with us. What kind of dickwad doesn't let their elderly parents move in with their new family? Gram'ma lived through 5 heart attacks, 2 falls, & outlived two husbands, only to be taken down by the ultimate kidney stone that caused a chain reaction of body failure. She could have been kept alive on support with an artificial kidney, but mom recalled that gra'ma said she didn't want that & let them pull the plug. What she forgot was that gra'ma specifically wanted to die at home & not in a hospital. To make matters worse, we thought it would be an in-&-out trip & never got to exchange any last meaningful words while she was still conscious. Being an atheist who believes in clinging tenaciously to life, I was against mother's decision, just like I was against euthanizing Cali. Mom said she didn't want her to be in pain. I say since there's no heaven or reincarnation, cling tenaciously to life at any consequence.

Really, none of us saw it coming, & apparently neither did she. She had just ordered an Ozeri frypan for me & a copper magnifying necklace for herself, plus some clothes. She'd just had a crown replaced & was planning to get a new wheel chair. She was bouncing back & forth between video games & was really looking forward to my next homemade hamburger & fries. Gra'ma loved casual video games; her favorites were the Westward series (she wrote a very detailed walkthrough for at least one of them), Totem Tribe, & the Mystery Case Files series. I was planning on getting her into 1503 AD & Minecraft. Games took her out of her funk in the 2ed house after a nasty heart attack. She stopped using her bed entirely & took to sleeping in her recliner, with TV Ears on so the volume wouldn't wake anyone up. She usually slept through Harry Potter.

I took over her cooking duties when she became too overweight to stand for more than a few seconds. She bought me many nice cooking utensils & taught me how to cook great meals. I still have all of her recipe cards, but I'll never be able to ask for her second opinion on anything ever again. I also know she had a few unwritten recipes I'd been nagging her to card out that are lost forever now. After bumbling through 3 colleges & not passing any of them, she paid off most of my student loan. I stopped looking for a job because of her health & became her caretaker, also responsible for all meals & cleaning the house, but being housebound made me lazy & hermit-like, rarely leaving the house, & I started gaining lots of weight. With no grama to care for, I have to thrust myself back into the working world that I never felt comfortable in.

After becoming homebound, granma considered herself a burden on the family. If only she knew that her being gone was a thousand times more inconvenient that her being around. If I knew she was going to pass, I'd have spent more time playing games with her than up in my office playing by myself. Now even the dumbest things remind me of her' mayonnaise (the sandwiches never have enough of it), butter (there's never enough on the noodles), eggs (dip in in flower, then egg, then breadcrumbs & it will come out crunchy), white coffee cups (she liked 3 heaping spoons of powdered creamer, 3 of Splenda, & a tiny bit of 1/2 & 1/2), Lipton tea (a staple of hers, up until 2 years ago), water bottles (always needed a plain one & a flavored one in the office & by her chair), tiny garbage cans (her's always needed to be emptied), Kleen-X boxes (woman never believed in using a tissue for more than one blow), strategy city builder games (her favorite kind), Ravenhearst (her first video game), toilet paper (always reminding me that we weren't in the desert where water had to be conserved & that I should flush even if I only went a tiny bit), Pandora (she was always listening to it), digital alarms (her pill timer), the sound of wheels on a hardwood floor (her stroller), Tulips (the last vacation photos she ever saw, & we too them specifically for her), folding dinner trays (there was always one by her chair), velcro (she had bloated feet. Her shoes were always too small & needed adjusting & extending), lamps (knocking them over, turning them on, discussing getting a big one for the living room) low sodium anything (especially Fritos), Salami & Alberta peaches (she always wanted them & yet always let them go to waste), magnifying glasses (grama had started collecting them), broth & chocolate exlax (the last things I ever gave her), long necklace chains & earrings (she was always eager to buy them or get them as a gift, even if she rarely went out), catalogs (Romans & Woman Within were always scattered around her office desk), mini shredders (one near her desk, always under piles of catalogs & paperwork), cheese (marble, colby, & cottage were frequently requested for lunch), whole dill pickles & Fritos (her favorite snacks), pizza (she always wanted one, but the oven has been broken for almost half a year), socks (ankle & hosptal socks, she always needed help putting them on), pajama sets (she always bought everyone a few every christmas), shells (she once rewarded me with a shell-themed bedroom set for being her caretaker), roses (her favorite perfume, plus the never-changing theme of her never-used bedroom), green tea-peach-mango (her favorite water flavoring, as she pointed that out frequently), Modest Mussorgsky (her favorite composer), Town Cars & cars with keypads (her old Lincoln), Abinico2042 (Her misspelling of Ab Initio & her fondness for our old Sparks street number), & unsurprisingly Old People Stuff (Walker, stroller, wheelchair, shower stool, pill timer, medication bottles, humidifier-based oxygen masks).

Just a few weeks ago, we were at a tulip festival & took some pictures of eachother. Mom was saying that we needed to start taking pictures of family members, because we haven't developed any film in decades; too late. When was the last time we took a picture of any of us before then? When was the last time we were all in a picture together? How old is the picture we'll have to remember grama by? I thought I wouldn't express any emotion when she died. I don't consider myself a "feeling" person. I figured the medications I'd been put on as a kid had given me a complete emotional disability, feeling only boredom, irritation, content, & amused. I lost control when mom started bawling & I was mad at Jerry because he didn't show any weakness when I failed. I looked at grama's face & her eyes were open, but I don't know if she was gone or not. I looked at her & wondered if she saw that I'd come to see her off. Did I have that same nonchalant look I've had on my face in every photo of me ever taken, or were my eyes a little watery? I guess I'll never know.

True, she was very homebound, only leaving the house for appointments. It's really a wonder that she kept buying herself jewelry & clothes than needed to be ironed when she would always leave the house in only one of two things per year. In the past 8 years I've seen her give up her bedroom & take to sleeping in a recliner, give up her drivers licence after driving us down the wrong side of the street after our last trip to Winco together, be unable to cook for the family because she couldn't stand for long, become dependent on assistance in the shower, dressing, & at times in the bathroom, rely on wheels to get her from one room to the next, rely on pads for incontinence, & barely be able to retrieve her premade lunches from the fridge. Initially I thought she was just getting lazy, but I wasn't adding up all the signs. She didn't know she'd go when she did, but she did forsee it enough to take out extra life insurance. In the end, she did everything she was going to do & lived for the little things. She was fawned over by family in her last conscious hours, nurses & doctors in her unconscious, & just maybe saw us there or heard our voices before she closed her eyes for the last time.

Walking Dead: The characters.

All of the women in this series pretty much have the same personality & are dainty little things that cry all the time & need to be protected. This seiries really could have used a token kickbutt tomboy.
Rick: Before mid season 2: Hopeless optimistic, holds conversations with inanimate objects & expects answers, pretty nice guy, mostly likely to have a complete mental breakdown at some point in his life, lots of emotional baggage, blames himself for everything. After mid season 2: Insecure, nervous, testosteronic, antisocial, homicidal, untrusting, indecisive.

Lori: Uppity bitch, smothering mom, useless in battle, master of "crazy face," full of secrets, loves to play the blame game.

Carl: Optimistic, rightfully eager to grow up & become more useful, wimpy.

Shane: Before mid season 2: Bounces back & forth between nice reasonable overly concerned guy & selfish douchebag, at least has the decency to TRY not to get too worked up when he's angry, politely keeps his feelings to himself most of the time, gets worked up easily, often serves as Rick's voice of reason, won;t take no for an answer or leave well enough alone. After mid season 2: Testosteronic, rage-filled, homicidal, antisocial, pushy, butthurt, insistent.

Glenn: Nice guy, promotes the advantages of soloing, tries to make the best of bad situations, shy around women, nervous.

Dale: Super nice guy, surrogate dad of the group, nosy, overly concerned about everything.

Andrea: Judgmental bitch, at least shows some spine when push comes to shove but still gives up easily, has almost won herself a Darwin Award on many occasions, least useless woman in the group.

Carol: Worthless sop, spends all of her time moping & depressed, extremely pessimistic, useless in battle.

Daryl: Bullheaded (season 1) levelheaded (season 2), realistic, not very social or nice but the one you'd rather be around when shit goes to hell, excellent survival instincts.

Theodore: Nice guy, a bit of a pushover but you can;t hold it against him.

Sophia: Generic child, not much personality.

Jacqui: Not much personality, didn't really do anything, utterly forgettable.

Amy: Melancholy, overemotional.

Ed: Basic redneck stereotype, no empathy or sympathy, inconsiderate, troublesome.

Jim: Mr. Anxiety, nice when he's calm.

Morales: Nice guy, completely forgettable family members.

Nursing Home Gang: Good at putting up a false face, very social, considerate of the elderly.

Edwin: Secretive, pessimistic, pushes his beliefs on others.

Morgan: Good dad, not very trusting, nice when you get to know him.

Duane: Unusually wimpy for a boy his age, very untrusting, wouldn't survive a day on his own.

Maggie: Spontaneous, inappropriate, slutty, 2ed least useless woman, possibly less useless than Andrea.
Graphics suggestions; To cut own on latency, switch the graphic level to medium & make sure "wind in trees" & "shadows" are turned off. The shadows seem to cause most of the lag.

Easily bored people with short attention spans who can't commit to anything can't just go doling out $40-60 for a new single player game every week or 2. Their best bet is to just try a couple of different free-to-play MMORPGs every month.

It's a pain trying to find people your own level in games who will follow you from quest to quest instead of taking off within 5 minutes of accepting you party quest, & there's no point in joining a long-term group or even making friends when you have no long-term plans with a game.

If you're like me, you love MMORPGS but can't stand playing with other people & always hope that the chat box is hideable. You could also just be unable to find other players your level that won't immediately take off & do their own thing after accepting your party request.

Leveling Pros: The game is awesomesauce for the first 7 levels. Having not run into a single player until reaching Tortage, I guess your start off in an instanced area where whatever you kill stays dead & never respawns; reminds me of the original Dungeon Siege.

Leveling Cons: If you solo, then everything goes downhill at level 8. There are no level 7 or 8 enemies everywhere to grind on; you either pick of low XP level 5 & 6 pirates & panthers, or you go after level 9-11 pirates & natives. When you reach level 10, the enemies' mob mentality will put a serious cork in your leveling, because if you get within 10 feet of something around your own level, 5 or 6 same level or higher mobs will all come at you at once & kill you before you can take even 1 of them down.

Your only option at this point is to spend a couple of solid hours grinding on very specific mobs until you can upgrade your armor & weapon. These mobs are the 3 pirates near the lighthouse, about 4 snakes & 1 scorpion in a cave far enough from eachother that they won't attack you all at once, & the 2 native guards by the stairs, & they all take forever to respawn. Attacking any other mob will be instant death until you're 3 or 5 levels higher than them.

Another crappy thing about leveling is you can't assign skill points to anything that's actually useful; climbing & faster health regeneration while resting; stuff like that. Not very useful in combat.

So look for whatever class is a "tank" in defense & can hit more than 1 enemy at a time. It's probably the Barbarian, but I can't swear on that.
New Years: It's about getting drunk & light shows. I don;t drink anything fermented & I'm against fireworks; bad for the environment, start fires, scare animals & old people to death, nobody sleeps for 3 months because of all the little shits who stock up & set off fireworks every night at 3am.

Valentines: Candy holiday. Children give eachother cards, women have obligation-sex with their boyfriends, & everyone eats chocolate until they pass out.

St. Patrick's: Food & liqueur holiday for the adults. Children decorate pet carriers with anything gold they can find in hopes of catching a Leprechaun.

Easter: A candy holiday, second only to Halloween, where children wake up to find a basket with a toy & a month's supply of chocolate, marshmallows, & jellybeans that will be gone in 3 days. Parents & children bonding over egg dying, then the parents hide the eggs & toy-filled plastic eggs for the children to find. Adults enjoy seasonal candies like Robin's Eggs.

Thanksgiving: (How people with no American roots celebrate it): A food holiday, where we shit-talk Europeans for wiping out 90% of the native Americans.

Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Christmahanakwanzikah/Decemberween: Celebration of commercialism & capitalism, getting the most, giving the best, checking out the light displays in rich neighborhoods, pimping out the house inside & out, food.


1.) The main character is either loud, dumb, uncool, rejects, probably perceived weak by others in the beginning of the story.

Lie: Old trend. (True with Hunter x Hunter though). New trend: Hero is a suave demon, hero is a smart adult-like child, hero is super laid-back & coming out of a premature retirement, hero is a duo or a group of 4 with vastly different personalities, hero was a force to recon with from beginning to end.

2.) The main character isn't in style with women, but with one girl character secretly in love with him.

Lie: Trend 1: The man is always a chick-magnet, even if he really really doesn't want to be. Trend 2: Asexual/chaste heroes, multiple main characters, or main character hasn't hit puberty yet.

3.) Main character will progress to become one of the strongest (or the strongest) in the story.

Lie: Not all shounen series have multiple villains. For ones that do, the other characters level with the main character & his winning is based on strategy, luck, & being the first one to encounter a specific opponent while wandering off alone. Characters may also not level at all, but grow smarter & gather more information on the enemy.

4.) The main character's motivations in battles (& probably in life) is to guard his comrades.

Lie: That's the main character's best friend's job. Often the hero is hire to do some quest & his main objective is to kill or KO so he can get paid, other times he's after information, other times it's to rescue someone (so the guarding part already failed). Another common one is revenge motivation, where the hero's friends don't even come to mind.

5.) Excessive use of the word "nakama" (suggests that "comrades" or "friends") and "mamoru" (means that "protect") throughout the story.

Lie: The group is more often than not all on the same level & do not need eachother for backup. the main character might even be the weakest or dumbest person n the group. There might not be a group, or maybe the main character only hangs out with friends when it's convenient for the story. The group might even not be on the best terms with eachother.

6.) There will be a rival who may be a total opposite of what the main character is (if main character is loud and uncool, his rival should be collected and cool, vice versa).

Fact: But the main character will also have at least once friend like that as well.

7.) The main character has some dark childhood reminiscences/tragedy.

Fact: Tragedy builds character, & like Disney, one or two missing parents are also the norm.

8.) There will be at least one female character with big breasts channeling her attention to the main character.

Semi-fact: Sometimes it's a lolita, sometimes it's a really minor character with a 50% chance of dying, sometimes it's an arranged engagement made by the parents, sometimes that chick turns out to be a long-lost sister, sometimes it's a campy gay man, sometimes it's a crazy shotacon lady, sometimes the best friend just comes off as really bromantic.


Canon BL in Hunter x Hunter?

Wikipedia Japan says that Hisoka's name means "secretly," that's he's naturally blonde, & that he's the kind of spree killer who gets aroused by fighting & fights people he's sexually attracted to (Gon & Killua...& apparently Kalluto, Chrollo, & Leorio to a lesser degree. If he's attracted to Machi, that also means he would kill her as well). This is exactly like Joker from Batman, who admitedly has a thing for Batman (according to at least 6 DC writers) & prefers killing over sex. Killua claims i the manga that he & Hisoka are "of the same race," which is apparently half Japanese, despite being in a parallel Earth with a made-up language. 嘘つき・気まぐれな性格で頭の回転は極めて早く、人間性には掴み所がない。天才的な格闘Hisokaを持ち Chrolloと闘う為だけに団員を殺し幻影旅団に入団し、GonやKilluaの成長に性的興奮を覚える など、常軌を逸した戦闘狂である。己が最強であり何にも属す必要がないと考えているため、旅団 入団も単なる 手段に過ぎず実際には偽装入団であった。
また、人間を理由なく残酷に殺す快楽殺人癖もある。第286期ハンター試験では、気に入らない 試験官を半殺 しにして失格になった。Hunterになりたい理由の1つとして「人を殺しても免責になる場合 が多いから」 と述べている。但し、GonやKilluaのような気に入った人間に対しては、たとえ自身が不 利益をこうむ っても守ろうとする面も持ち合わせている。偏に上記の性的興奮に因るものである。

& that Illumi has a "twisted love" for Killua. 父と共にKilluaを一流の暗殺者に教育した人物。その教育方針は、どのような状況下でもK illuaが 絶対に死ぬことがないようにすること。Killuaを歪ませた張本人であるが、これらの仕打ち は、Kill uaに対する歪んだ愛情からくるものである。

Surprisingly, it also says that Kurapica's gender is still ambiguous, though a citation was asked for & not given: 中性的な容姿。性別に関しては原作では「不明」、その他メディアミックス(公式ガイドブックや グッズパンフ レットなど)では主に「男性」という扱いである。作者はJump本誌掲載のインタビューでは「 予想以上に男 性か女性か分からないキャラになってしまった」とコメントしている[要出典]。WJ本誌のキャラクター人気投票では3回連続2位。 I think the cover of volume 14 made it obvious.

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